20/20

 Hind sight is always 20/20. Isn't that true... we can always look back and see the things we should've, could've, would've right? It is no different when we look back on our lives and the life of a loved one who has passed away. That is the point I am at... thinking about honoring my father who just passed away! What are my should've, could've, would've moments. I am not sad really at his passing, I know he is in heaven with his Lord and Savior. It is the missed opportunities that both of us and others just let slip by.  There are a lot of ways I could bash my father, but what good would that do, he won't see it or even hear about it, the only purpose that would serve is to hurt those left behind. So, instead I will "bash"myself. Oh and I realize that many of the ways I am bashing myself for he is also guilty of. 

Should've -- I should've spent more time with him. When we were both working we seemed to never be able to find time. Kind of like the song "Cats in the Cradle". When he stopped working so much my daughter was older and had all those important things that we needed to do and I needed to be part of. Could he have tried harder to be part of that, yes. Could I have tried to find time somewhere to fit him in YES. 

Could've -- I could've carved out more time before and after I retired. I could've made more of an effort. He possible could have done that same. We always seemed to let the world and others keep us from each other. I could've called more. I could've made it a priority to call him daily if it was just to say, "I am thinking about you!" But I didn't! I could've put my daughter and myself in his life more, making us be MORE of a priority, but I allowed us to be less than important. I allowed him to make us be at the end of the line when we should have been at least 2nd... 

Would've -- I would've tried to make life better for the both of us. I would've loved to have been able to say "dad, I love you!" one more time. I would have loved it if my daughter and my dad would have had a closer relationship, but I messed that up too! I could spew out all kinds of would haves, but I won't. There is no reason for me to let regrets fill my life right now. All I can say is I would've been a better daughter if I had known he would be gone so soon.

Let this be a lesson for you reader.... if your parents are alive, well or not, make more of an effort to have the life you really want with them. If you had an early life that you perceive as not so good with them, find a way to put that behind you and make a new life that is full of the things you wish you had, had with them in your early life. If you had a great childhood, make your adult life even greater. Honor your parents while they are here!

Thanks for reading. I pray for God to bless all of you!